Hello

Hello my beautiful readers. I am just writing to let you know that I love you all so much. I honestly do not have any colorism content to share with you currently. So, hello!

Feel free to watch me and my best friend on my channel while enjoying a mukbang and a little chit chat. Also kindly sub for more.

Thanks and have a beautiful week.

Blogmas Edition! Day 21

Appreciation post

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well.

I just want to take a brake from posting based on colorism and thank you all for always reading, commenting sharing and engaging with me.

I am currently trying to build an email list so that I can engage with you guys more. I am also doing my research on how to make this blog better.

Thankyou guys, I hope to see you on the next post.

Blogmas Edition,day 10!

Dark skinned women an pick me culture

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing fine. On this post, I am going to be sharing on a topic that one of my Youtube subscribers asked me to address. Check out Rachel Mwendwa’s comment.

Pick me culture

A pick me lady is basically a lady who would do anything to keep a man. She is willing to put all her priorities and life in general just to please or keep a man around.

Her standards are few to non-existent and this applies to how she lets other people treat her, men and women alike.

She basically puts herself last and it is evident from how she thinks of herself, how she speaks about herself and other women (in a degrading manner), how she judges other women for putting themselves first and how she is always on twitter ‘defending’ men. In this era, I am certainly sure you have met or heard of these ladies.

There are men who also have the notion that women should not be treated right (something I do not agree with) and shame women for having standards, being high maintenance and expecting better from them.

These two groups of people make up, promote and uphold the pick me culture.

Pick me culture and dark skinned women

There is a blog post I wrote earlier this year that addressed stereotypes that are attached to dark skinned women. Here is the link if you missed it;

Debunking stereotypes attached to dark skinned women – Vert Berry (wordpress.com)

Since the Kenyan society and black society has for a long period of time degraded dark skinned women, most dark skinned women have internalized the notion that they are unattractive and they should therefore, accept breadcrumb treatment in every facet of their lives including relationships and marriage.

They have an incessant need to bend over backwards in order to get any form of validation from anyone however miniscule. Some dark skinned women put other dark skinned women like me by thinking they are better ‘because they have never experienced colorism and they are not insecure’ so that men can see them as ‘better dark skinned women (I think I should do a story time on this incident, lol).’

Dark skinned women have been lied to into thinking that they are not the prize, that they have to do anything and everything under the sun in order to receive love and validation. The lie has succeeded abundantly and the women have suffered terribly but some of us are unaware of the suffering because we are so accustomed to it, we take it in as oxygen.

Shaming dark skinned women for setting standards

That is why people get so annoyed when dark skinned women set standards and stick by them. They wonder ‘how did she do it?’ ‘who does she think she is’?

That is why they shamed Elsa Majimbo, called her ugly for setting standards but would not even say anything when a woman who meets the standards of beauty of the society sets the same standards.

Solution

Disclaimer! I know not all dark skinned women are like this but incase you need to hear it;

Dark skinned women need to realize that they can set standards as they please, no matter what the society says.

Dark skinned women need to realize that they are worthy and do not deserve breadcrumb treatment in any facet of their lives.

Dark skinned women need to realize that they can address issues facing men in society genuinely but not in hopes of getting men to like them. This is equal to watching football even if you do not enjoy it, so that men can ‘deem you as wifey or something.’

Dark skinned women who shame other women for speaking about colorism so that they can seem better actually need to stop for a hot minute and reevaluate their thoughts on colorism. Just because it has not happened to you does not mean the issue does not exist.

Finally, subscribe to my channel so that we can all engage, learn and unlearn some notions that may help this pick me culture.

Thanks so much for reading! See you on the next post.

I love you so much!

Growing up with a dark skinned mother

Hello Vert Berry, loves. Today, I am writing a commentary about a video a friend of mine shared with me. I will also share the video and I shall comment particularly on 2;08 to 2;55, where the girl said’ I do not look like my mother, she is DARK SKINNED and I am LIGHT SKINNED and went ahead to say ‘how embarrassing’ it was to have a dark skinned mother. I hope you enjoy this post.

My thoughts;

First, I saw people at the comment sections stating that this video was staged. I do not know how credible this information is (staged/not) but the facts are very relevant to the theme of this blog, that is colorism.

Below are my thoughts;

  1. Dark skinned women with light skinned daughters need to talk to their daughters about colorism.
  2. Light skinned daughters with dark skinned mothers need to be empathetic towards their mothers who might have gone through or still go through colorism.
  3. It is important for children to respect their mothers no matter what their skin tone is.
  4. Colorism stems out of ignorance. Taking a step to educate yourself can help you weed out the ignorance.
  5. Light skinned women who are colorist should stop and ask themselves of the possibility of having dark skinned children especially daughters. They should consider what they would want their children to experience. Colorism in a family? I bet not.
  6. That brings me to my last point, colorism in families exist. It is imperative to have the conversations within the family. I wrote about in and here is the link, you can check it if you never read it;

I was hated for being the darkest child in the family (Maich’s story) – Vert Berry (wordpress.com)

Thankyou so much everyone, I will see you in the next post. Oh and I did not post last week so, I will add one more post to make it up because you guys deserve this content. You are the best readers ever.