Blogmas Edition!Day 29

A message to the ‘Average Black woman’

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well. So recently I saw a video of a black woman seeking dating advice from an image consultant known as Kevin Samuels. Before I proceed to my commentary, I would like you to watch the video and then proceed.

My opinion

The black community especially in my country considers dark skinned women as ‘average/non-desirable and or ugly.’

So the typical expectation is that ‘average women should never want anything high for themselves. They should not have high standards because average people do not deserve the best. That is why Kenyans attacked Elsa for wanting to marry a man who would pay four million USD for her hand in marriage. I am pretty sure if she was not considered ‘average’ and if she was ‘light-skinned’, the reaction would be quite different.

However, I think very differently. I believe, with every fiber of my being that ‘average women’ have all it takes to choose the kind of partners they want and set standards as they please.

The Message to the average black/ dark skinned girl

  1. Move silently. Not every body needs to know your dating standards and dating preferences. At least make it known to your potential partners and or a few family members and friends. This will save you a lot of drama and trolling.
  2. Work on your self esteem. Having a high self esteem will help you believe in your standards so much such that you can barely tolerate anything outside the scope of what you want.
  3. Brace yourself for hate. If you already told everyone about your dating preferences and high standards, then buckle up for the rough comments and unsolicited advice. If you are mentally prepared, it will be easier for you to ignore.
  4. Be graceful. Even after the hate, just be graceful and stick to your standards. Do not be the ‘typical angry black woman’ when addressing people who bring you down. Keep it moving gracefully. You can rant to your friends though.
  5. Be patient. Working on yourself requires patient. Setting standards and meeting a person who fits the part requires patience. So be patient and decline everything that does not meet your threshold.

You will not die alone. Be patient.

Bye! See you on the next post.

I love you all

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