Blogmas Edition! Day 26

Was he colorist?

Colorism in Relationships

WHAT HE SAID

‘Dark skinned women cannot be seen in pictures, so when your girlfriend sends you her picture, the screen turns dark’ 😂😂

That is what he (one of my exes) posted. Just to keep everything tasteful and discrete, let us called him Jerome.

When I asked him what he meant by the post he went ahead and explained it to me;

RELAX,YOU ARE NOT THAT DARK. HAVE YOU MET DARK PEOPLE?! CHILL

At that point, I just felt like a knife cut through my heart. That is when I knew, I was in a relationship with a colorist person.

WHAT HAPPENED

I remember that day vividly. I was in class waiting for my morning class to begin. The lecturer was running late so I was going through my chats. My then boyfriend had made some subliminal colorist comments before but I never really read in between the lines and I constantly brushed it off. (Drop a comment if you want a post that highlights on signs of a colorist lover/partner).

The post I saw that morning on his story that was specifically meant to shame dark skinned women coupled with the gaslighting upon confronting him made me rethink my decision. I broke up with him eventually.

TOXIC COLORIST PARTNERS

Yes, they do exist. Just because he is with you does not mean you are his type/ he likes dark skinned women.

It is very possible to have a colorist boyfriend/husband as a dark skinned woman. I had a lady sharing a story of her ex husband who shamed her for being dark skinned on a daily basis. He would even embarrass her before visitors during events. The most profound being asking people in an event to ‘avoid’ taking pictures with the wife since she is too dark to be seen, ‘Huyu mkipiga picha na yeye ataonekana kweli?’

When the wife confronted him about it, he flipped the narrative and labelled her as too sensitive.

In both cases the men used the gaslighting technique to invalidate our concerns. But luckily both of us moved on and endeavored to dobetter.

SOLUTION

If you are in a relationship with a colorist person, you can consider a break up.

Forgive yourself post breakup. It may be hard to forgive yourself attracting such toxicity but you can do it.

Find the root of the problem. Go to therapy if you have to.

Finally, promise yourself to leave a toxic space, person or thing as early as possible.

Do not date the colorist again.

I hope you find this helpful. Kindly share it .

Thankyou so much guys. I love you all. See you on the next post and please help me reach 10k views.

2 thoughts on “Blogmas Edition! Day 26

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