Yes we are.
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well and keeping safe. On this post, I am writing on a notion that has been reiterated on so many platforms and in my opinion, it is damaging to dark skinned women. Last week, I was listening to an episode on one of my favorite podcasts ( Just winging it by Mungai Damaris). I enjoyed the content which spanned from feminism, masculinist ideologies, men’s mental health to romantic preferences. Just to be precise and niche-oriented, I shall only write about the preference part.
If you are interested in listening to the whole episode, kindly tune in to the podcast. The link is available of Mungai’s Instagram bio.
Her handle is @ _miss.mungai.
During the episode, the guest spoke about and I quote ‘women get annoyed when men say that they prefer light skinned women/ madem malight skin ndio wameniweza‘ and yet they say that they hate light skinned men and nobody cares.’
Some men have a habit of verbally abusing dark skinned women while stating their preferences. They have compared dark skinned women to the most unimaginable things such as dirt and germs. Why would you say ‘I like my women light skinned because all dark skinned women are ugly? Why would you say ‘I like and prefer light skinned women because they look better without makeup as compared to dark skinned women? Why would you choose to compare the looks of a dark skinned woman to that of a light skinned woman in order to prove your point ? The thing that gets us angry is the fact that you have stripped us off our humanity, our femininity, our soft side just because you want to state your preferences whilst bruising us and when we react you are always armed with an arsenal of gaslighting tactics ranging from calling us the ‘annoyed ones’ to a plethora of unending negatives. How about you pick what you like and carry on gracefully? If you did that, nobody would be angry. Trust me, dark skinned women do not care about what men like, we just wonder why you cannot respect us while you are preferring and ‘taking wenye wameweza.’
Secondly, the most part of women that uplift and put dark skinned men on a pedestal is not dark skinned women. If you look closely, most of the time dark skinned women are usually in relationships with light skinned men. Most dark skinned women understand the intricacies of masculinization of dark skinned women and feminization of light skinned men and thus choose not to hop in the ‘light-skinned men trolling band wagon.’ Therefore, dark skinned women are in a double jeopardy. We are put in the same box as women and men who troll light skinned men and get trolled by men who like what they like. How are we not supposed to be annoyed?
If you are a dark skinned woman reading this, I want you to know that we can get annoyed if we are disrespected and we can speak up.
In conclusion, people have to take responsibility for their actions. If you prefer and disrespect concurrently, do not reverse the narrative when a dark skinned woman calls you out. Similarly, look at the people who spearhead the feminization of light skinned men and try to understand where they come from and how they defeminize dark skinned women in the process.
Yes we are angry until you learn how to pick what you like and respect what you do not want to pick.